I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
false alarm. still invincible.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
