For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wish there were birth control emojis
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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