i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
