She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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