Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Say something about gay babies.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
