he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
