just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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