Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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