if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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