i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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