honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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