who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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