Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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