Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
