The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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