Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
my liver is dry heaving
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
