and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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