he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
