ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
