just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
