I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
