Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Two words: nipple clamps
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