Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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