the condom got lost in my hair
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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