I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
