My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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