I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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