Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
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you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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