Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You can't motorboat a personality
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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