can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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