Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere