i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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