I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts