DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
did i just pee glitter
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