Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Yeah, i think she was German or something.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.

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(540): View more from Virginia

new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".

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These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?

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(707): View more from California

I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.

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(469): View more from Texas

Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere

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