i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again