I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the day after is always just damage control
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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