I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
