school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
