and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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