Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Four minutes until I can fart!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
