Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
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Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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