should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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