Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
