it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
