Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize