Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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