Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
