Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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