Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
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They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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