i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Come on in and take your pants off
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