Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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