In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
