Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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