Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
