He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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