didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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