Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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