He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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