rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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