Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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