Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and she was petting her beer can
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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