I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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