Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize