Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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